When You Could Have Done Better
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But sometimes, in emotionally charged moments, it is not possible to think clearly. If in the heat of the moment you fail to consider the perspective questions...
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Questions to Build Patience
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For parents, exercising patience is not easy. Your children will not always follow your instructions, appreciate your efforts, or prioritize your deadlines. They will generously provide you with frustrating circumstances...
Read MoreThe Meaning Within the Mundane
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In my previous post, I posed the question ‘what if today is the day they come back?’ The question was a reference to the play Our Town, in which...
Read MoreLiving Every Moment
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Life as a parent is full of paradoxes. We cherish our children, yet don't always cherish our time with them. The days can feel like they will never end, yet the years can go by before we know it. Moment by moment...
Read MoreParenting Styles, Part III: The Gottman Model
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Dr. John Gottman, a psychology researcher known for his studies on family dynamics, has defined and studied a model of parenting styles. Like the Baumrind model, Gottman identified four main parenting styles...
Read MoreParenting Styles, Part II: Self-Determination Theory
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At the closing of the previous post, I asserted that the authoritative parenting style, the most effective parenting style in the Baumrind model, contained some practices that do not result in good outcomes. This was cited as a problem. For a solution, we now turn to self-determination theory.
Read MoreParenting Styles, Part I: The Baumrind Model
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Over the next several weeks, we will look at three different models of parenting styles. We begin today with the Baumrind model. Developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind characterized three dominant parenting styles, and recorded their outcomes...
Read MoreHow Parenting Style Makes a Difference
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My book The Optimal Life Experience ascertains what it means to live the best possible life. The reason for writing that book was to help determine how parents can best equip their children to live their best possible lives. It turns out they can do it through the signals they send.
Read MoreMore Parenting Journal Templates
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Today, I am sharing templates that complement the ones from last week. A monthly tracking template will be featured. In addition, there is a matching annual review template.
Read MoreKeeping With Your Parenting Purpose Through a Journal
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Today, we will talk about what stops you from fulfilling your parenting purpose, and how journaling can help you to do things differently to get back on track.
Read MoreSurvey Respondents Reveal Parenting Purposes
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Last week, we discussed the purpose of being a parent. I promised to share with you the results of a survey where I asked one hundred people about their parenting purposes. Today we will analyze the survey responses...
Read MoreWhat is Your Parenting Purpose?
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A purpose is the reason for doing something. A thoughtfully constructed purpose helps to keep one focused on priorities. It provides a basis for action when the right decision is not self-evident.
Read MoreConscientious Parents, Conscientious Children
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A task completed with conscientiousness is a task completed carefully and in an orderly way. Being orderly means working with deliberation and organization. Being careful encompasses thoroughness with regard to details and vigilance with regard to progress...
Read MoreDetermined Parents, Determined Children
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Enjoying successes is not always a one-step journey, and often involves setbacks or failure along the way. These difficulties, even if they do not detract from optimism about pure ability to succeed, may still wear down the will to continue. Determination means continuing despite difficulties, overcoming not only the external adversity but also one's own weakened resolve to stay true to the original objective....
Read MoreOptimistic Parents, Optimistic Children
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Parents frequently use negative and disallowing terms when speaking to their children. Often, they do this in order to protect their children from harm. They tell their children ‘no’, they can't go into the street and ‘no’, they can't pet strange dogs. Such language...
Read MoreQuestions for Contemplating Parenting Tactics
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Use this list of questions to explore how your behavior may be perceived in other contexts, and how they may be repeated by your child in other contexts..
Read MoreFair Parents, Fair Children
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Fairness is easily misunderstood by a small child. She will tend to perceive anything preventing her from fulfilling every desire as being unfair. As she grows from an egocentric child into a socially adept adult, she will come to understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives that are different from hers. She will understand that nobody, including adults, gets everything they want...
Read MoreHonest Parents, Honest Children
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Dishonesty is seductive. It is easy to rationalize telling a lie, to be convinced that it will offer a simple and convenient solution. To further justify telling it, the severity of the lie is mentally downgraded. "It's just a harmless little fib," the inner voice says...
Read MoreCompassionate Parents, Compassionate Children
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You begin modeling compassion the day your child is born. Birth may be difficult for you and your spouse, but it must be downright terrifying for your child...
Read MoreWhat Parents' Examples Mean to Children
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The example that you set is a stone dropped into a pond. Like concentric wave patterns rippling across the entire surface, your circle of influence begins with the people closest to you and reverberates outward. Each of those people then carries something from you across the expanses of their own circles of influence...
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