Parenting Styles, Part II: Self-Determination Theory

Parenting Styles, Part II: Self-Determination Theory

At the closing of the previous post, I asserted that the authoritative parenting style, the most effective parenting style in the Baumrind model, contained some practices that do not result in good outcomes. This was cited as a problem. For a solution, we now turn to self-determination theory.

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Conscientious Parents, Conscientious Children

Conscientious Parents, Conscientious Children

A task completed with conscientiousness is a task completed carefully and in an orderly way. Being orderly means working with deliberation and organization. Being careful encompasses thoroughness with regard to details and vigilance with regard to progress...

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Determined Parents, Determined Children

Determined Parents, Determined Children

Enjoying successes is not always a one-step journey, and often involves setbacks or failure along the way. These difficulties, even if they do not detract from optimism about pure ability to succeed, may still wear down the will to continue. Determination means continuing despite difficulties, overcoming not only the external adversity but also one's own weakened resolve to stay true to the original objective....

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Optimistic Parents, Optimistic Children

Optimistic Parents, Optimistic Children

Parents frequently use negative and disallowing terms when speaking to their children. Often, they do this in order to protect their children from harm. They tell their children ‘no’, they can't go into the street and ‘no’, they can't pet strange dogs. Such language... 

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Fair Parents, Fair Children

Fair Parents, Fair Children

Fairness is easily misunderstood by a small child. She will tend to perceive anything preventing her from fulfilling every desire as being unfair. As she grows from an egocentric child into a socially adept adult, she will come to understand that other people have thoughts, feelings, and perspectives that are different from hers. She will understand that nobody, including adults, gets everything they want...

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Honest Parents, Honest Children

Honest Parents, Honest Children

Dishonesty is seductive. It is easy to rationalize telling a lie, to be convinced that it will offer a simple and convenient solution. To further justify telling it, the severity of the lie is mentally downgraded. "It's just a harmless little fib," the inner voice says...

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